You’re smart. You have good ideas. And you try to be nice to everyone in the office. So why is it so hard to command respect in the workplace?
You speak up – but people don’t listen. Instead, they talk over you.
You submit great work – but your boss doesn’t recognize it and even finds reasons to talk down to you.
You try to delegate work – but people get angry and have no interest in doing what you ask.
Now imagine how much it would help your career if you could earn respect from people at work:
You’d get raises and promotions, giving you a better salary, more meaningful work, and higher status among your peers.
Rather than speaking poorly of you, coworkers would try to befriend you. Instead of spreading lies and rumors, they’d do you favors to get your approval.
And best of all, you’d feel appreciated. You would feel the respect and admiration of your peers like they were big hugs from your favorite people.
You’re probably thinking, “Of course I’d love to be well-respected. But there’s no way I can command this respect overnight.”
And you’d be right. You can’t completely overhaul who you are and the way people see you in a day.
But you can become a well-respected person fairly quickly. Follow the advice below and you’ll earn high levels of respect from anyone at work in a short amount of time.
Command Respect in the Workplace with These 5 Skills
Do you want to command respect in the workplace like it’s nobody’s business (except yours)?
Good.
I’m going to show you the five attributes you need to learn to make this your reality:
1. Confidence
People respect those who are successful and know how to get what they want (or produce the results they want).
And confidence is a great way to convince people that you know what you’re doing.
Sure, you can try telling people to believe you. But it won’t work nearly as well as true confidence. Because all of your tiny, nonverbal cues will shout, “I’m lying!”
Instead, do these three things:
Develop an Undying Belief in Yourself
If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Believe deep down, to the core of your being, in your abilities.
You don’t have to be an expert at everything. Just know that you can solve any problem that comes your way and believe in your ability to accomplish the things you set out to do.
Use Confident Body Language
Even though you can’t control many of the subtle forms of nonverbal communication, you can purposefully use confident body language.
Stand straight up with your shoulders back. Never look down at the ground. Look people in the eyes when you talk to them. Have a firm handshake.
And fill the space around you. Don’t squeeze on the couch so other people can sit more comfortably than you. You need to place a high value on your life if you want others to do the same.
Respect Yourself
You can’t let others walk all over you. You need to stand up for yourself and your beliefs.
If someone wrongs you, speak up. Let them know that it’s not acceptable.
And set expectations immediately. Smart substitute teachers lay down the rules right when they enter the classroom. If you make it clear that you won’t tolerate certain actions, it’s much easier to address the issues when people violate them later.
But often they won’t do it in the first place because you clearly stated it. They’ll give you the respect you deserve because you expect it and won’t tolerate anything less.
You’ll receive more respect when you first respect yourself.
2. Leadership
People are designed to be led.
Parents show their children the way.
Bosses lead their employees to produce good work.
Friends do what their good friends ask of them.
Being led makes life so much easier because someone else is doing the difficult parts – thinking and deciding – for you. You just do what they ask of you.
People actually appreciate and respect those that lead them (when done right). That’s why you need to become a leader.
So how do you become a leader? You make decisions.
If you’re leading a meeting, you don’t ask if it’s okay to begin the presentation. Tell everyone that you’re about to start.
If your boss asks you to write up a proposal, don’t ask him hundreds of questions to make it exactly the way he wants. Submit your best work and let him send you his changes.
Stop asking what other people want and start making suggestions. You don’t have to get your way every time – that’s not the point.
You just want to be a decision-maker. If someone has a better suggestion, feel free to compromise.
Leaders are solid. They choose. They don’t sway in the wind and let other people make all their decisions for them. And they command respect in the workplace.
3. Respectfulness
Respect requires some strong qualities like confidence and leadership, but softer attributes are necessary as well.
It’s absolutely critical that you treat others respectfully and place a high value on their lives.
First, make sure you are being respectful whenever you interact with people. Listen to them when they’re speaking, thank them when they do something helpful, empathize and be understanding of their situations, compliment them for their good work or attitude, and speak in a positive tone (don’t be snarky!).
Second, you command respect in the workplace by building personal relationships with your coworkers. You can’t just use them like they’re a tool. You need to get to know them and build a real rapport if you want them to treat you better.
One great way to build positive relationships is to act as a mentor or a mentee to everyone you work with.
- For everyone “under” you, act as a mentor by offering help and advice that will help them in their career. You can even set up regular mentoring sessions.
- For everyone “above” you, offer to take something off of their plate that they don’t want. People are tremendously thankful when other people do the things they hate doing.
These offerings make you an awesome asset that any employee would want to keep around.
And another good way to create one-on-one relationships is by being open with your coworkers. Get to know them and let them know what’s going on in your life.
If you have trouble talking to some of your coworkers, here’s good advice on how to start a conversation with them.
By investing in your relationships, you show that you truly value people because you’re spending your most valuable resource – time – on them. People respect this.
4. Ownership
When leadership means making decisions, ownership means standing by your decisions.
If you make an error, own it. Let your boss know that it’s your fault. You did your best work with the time you were given and you made a mistake. It happens.
You’ll command respect in the workplace when you own your decisions because you’re not afraid of the consequences of your actions. It doesn’t mean you’re reckless without regard for consequences, but you know that you can handle any ramifications of your decisions.
Owning your decisions builds trust as well because your coworkers will see that you’re honest, even when it doesn’t benefit you.
And it also polishes your confidence because you’re not scared of your mistakes. You see the error, you learn from it and you become better because of it.
Every choice you make is the best decision you could think of at the time, so as long as you know that you’re a capable decision maker, you need to own your decisions. Maybe you wouldn’t make the same decision given another chance, but at the time you made the choice you thought was best.
And you’re confident that your best is pretty damn good.
5. Continued Growth
People respect those who are excellent at their craft.
When you see a master sushi chef creating beautiful sushi rolls or an artist deeply focused on creating his masterpiece, it’s hard not to respect them.
People respect excellence, so it’s vital that you’re constantly learning, practicing, and improving your knowledge and skills.
Because the better you get, the better you understand something, the better you can explain it, and the more passion you have for it, the more people will respect you.
But you can’t just get good and become complacent. It’s not just your expertise that people respect.
People also respect dedication.
Imagine seeing the top salesman in your company reading a book on human psychology, or the top presenter practicing a speech in the mirror, or the smartest guy in the room asking most of the questions. You can’t help but respect these people.
Even though they are masters, they aren’t boasting or basking in their glory. They are humble and driven enough to become even better.
Because you can always be better. And people wildly respect that attitude.
You Can’t Control People
Even if you master all five of the attributes above, you won’t win everyone over.
Some people will be jealous of you. Some may fear that you’re taking the spotlight away from them.
And sometimes you just rub people the wrong way.
That’s fine. You can’t seduce every person you meet. And you won’t win the respect of every coworker either.
Just focus on building your confidence, making decisions, being respectful, owning your actions, and continually growing and you’ll finally command respect in the workplace.
And if you really want to develop superpower-like social skills and become a person who earns respect and makes friends whenever you want, with whoever you want, join The Social Winner Newsletter. You’ll receive daily emails with tips and secrets that you can’t get anywhere else.