Have you ever noticed how easy it is to have fun when you’re hanging out with someone who’s celebrating something they’re truly excited about?
Maybe they passed that test they spent the last six months studying for.
Maybe they just got that big promotion they had their eyes on.
Whatever the reason, they are elated. They’re pumped on life that you can tell from a hundred miles away. Their emotions are bleeding happiness.
I bet you’ve noticed the opposite is true too.
You’re out with a group of friends getting ready to head to dinner, and that one friend (if you can call him that) has to complain about everything. He’s unhappy with the restaurant everyone agreed on. The Uber drive is too far. Even when you tell everyone that you landed a new client, he dismisses it as luck and says it won’t work out.
Ugh. How exhausting and annoying. Imagine how difficult it would to enjoy yourself in that situation.
Many of us understand that emotions are contagious. It’s hard to have fun with someone in a bad mood. It’s easy to enjoy life with someone with a lot of positive energy.
It also works in the other direction. The mood you’re in and the emotions you’re exuding to others will either attract people towards you or repel others away from you.
One specific night a while back portrayed this perfectly. My friends and I went to a popular bar called Legends. It was poppin’ and the music was loud. But that was also the problem. I couldn’t hear what people were saying and it was difficult to have conversations.
I was not having fun and it showed. And guess what? No one came up to me or tried to hang out with me. I just stood there hating life pretending to hear what people were saying. Eww, just remembering this makes me want to puke.
Finally, after way too long, we left and went to another bar called Aloha Grill. Although there were a number of people there, we could move around better. We could hear the music from the outside patio, but it wasn’t obnoxious. It was so much easier to talk to each other!
I had an absolute blast. And the funny thing was, strangers would walk by and start conversations with me. I loved it.
It’s not hard to draw the conclusion here. People are much more likely to engage with you when you’re having fun and being positive.
But there’s a bigger lesson you can take away with this. And it’s not just to try to be happier and more positive.
If you’re looking to meet new people and make new friends, make sure you’re going to places that you enjoy. If I’m going to a bar, I know that I want to go somewhere that has good music but isn’t too loud. If I join a sports team, it’ll be a sport I love playing, like beach volleyball.
If you do that, you’ll naturally be in a good mood, making it much easier for others to connect with you.
So what can you do? Consciously think about what makes you like certain places and what you don’t like about others.
Maybe you like networking events because everyone has a common interest. Maybe you hate them because people feel scummy and try to sell too hard.
This may seem like obvious advice, but I’ve noticed that many people actually go to places they can’t stand just to try to make new friends. I don’t want that to be you.