Your interpersonal skills are critical to your success in life.
Whether you want to make new friends, receive a job offer, make more sales, or get a promotion, interpersonal skills will help you thrive.
Synonymous with social skills, interpersonal skills refer to the way you interact with people in the workplace.
So, by understanding what they are, why they’re important, and what you can do to improve them, you can drastically change your life for the better.
What Are Interpersonal Skills?
As defined by Investopedia, “Interpersonal skills are the behaviors and tactics a person uses to interact with others effectively.”
Now, don’t confuse these with intrapersonal skills, which refer to the skills and communications going on in your own head.
All forms of communication fall into interpersonal skills. This includes:
- Your voice tonality
- The words you use
- The way you say them
- Your facial expressions
- Your body language
- Written communication
Any time you’re communicating with someone, your interpersonal skills are at play.
And by improving your interpersonal skills, you’re improving your ability to persuade, gain affection, and earn respect from others.
Examples and Types of Interpersonal Skills
The number of scenarios where you would use your interpersonal skills is practically infinite:
- Writing your resume
- Asking for a promotion
- Your daily interactions at work (which determine how management and colleagues perceive your value)
- Pitching your services to a prospective client
- Negotiating a business deal
Whenever there is human interaction (including written communication), your interpersonal skills are at play.
These soft skills demonstrate everything from likability to leadership skills.
As you can see, people judge you and your abilities by the way you interact with them.
Why Are Interpersonal Skills So Important?
The benefits of developing your interpersonal skills are immense.
First, your health and happiness depend on them.
Research shows that people with better social skills are better at obtaining and maintaining positive relationships. And people with better relationships live longer and have a better quality of life.
It’s a legitimate skill to be a people person. It improves your intimate relationships, your ability to parent your children, the way you love your family, and your ability to make good friends.
Second, your interpersonal skills drastically affect your business and work life.
In the workplace, interpersonal skills are needed to get jobs and promotions. Business executives believe that social skills play an important role when comparing job applicants.
And it makes sense because team collaboration is critical for running companies and completing projects.
Additionally, it’s easier to finish tasks and keeps clients happy with strong interpersonal relationships.
In interviews, you impress potential companies by the way you communicate. In business, you make sales by the way you communicate with prospective customers.
So, of all the skills to learn, your interpersonal skills may be the single most important.
The Most Important Interpersonal Skills and How to Develop Them
If you want to become a savvy communicator, you need to work at it consistently.
But more importantly, you need to work on the right skills in the right way.
Here are the top interpersonal skills to develop and the best way to do so:
1. Leadership
If you want to command respect in the workplace, you must be a leader.
You don’t need to be a manager or have a high-level position. You just need to lead.
Make decisions and take responsibility for your actions. People respect those who take action, even when it doesn’t work out. And they appreciate the guts and confidence.
Also, practice developing your leadership skills by making decisions. Start small by deciding where to go for lunch. Then continually graduate to bigger, more important decisions.
It will feel uncomfortable. But that’s good. It means you’re moving in the right direction.
2. Work Ethic
Actions speak louder than words.
When people see you working your tail off, you’ll gain respect.
As a manager, how can you expect your team to work hard if you aren’t?
Or, if you want to impress a client, go above and beyond by showing them you’re willing to outwork the competition.
One of the best ways to boost your perceived value is by working hard at everything you do, each and every day.
Don’t just talk the talk.
Walk the walk.
3. Self-confidence
If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will.
Your confidence affects thoughts, body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, actions, and decisions.
And low confidence prevents you from speaking up and pursuing ambitious goals.
The best way to improve your confidence is twofold:
First, believe that you are worthy and can build strong confidence. You can do whatever you set your mind to. It may take a lot of effort and time, but if you truly want something, believe that you can get it.
Second, you need to get results.
Telling yourself that you’re great isn’t enough. You must be learning, improving, and getting things done every day.
And to avoid burnout, set small goals and accomplish them daily.
Over time, your small goals will grow larger. Even when you don’t get everything done, you’ll still have a productive day.
As you see yourself progressing, your confidence will increase.
4. Positive attitude
If you want to build valuable relationships, people need to enjoy being around you.
People with positive attitudes are simply more enjoyable.
But a positive attitude does much more than that.
Positivity breeds optimism, which allows people to see new possibilities and accomplish new challenges.
On the other hand, negative thoughts focus the mind on potential dangers and block it from doing much else.
To improve your positivity, be honest and stop worrying about things you can’t control.
Lies breed negativity because you’re constantly worrying about getting caught. When you’re honest and take responsibility for your actions, you have nothing to hide.
And when you stop worrying about things you can’t control, you’re able to enjoy the present moment because you aren’t concerned about any situations that you can’t control.
5. Receptiveness to Feedback
When you accept feedback, you open the portal to rapid growth.
Feedback is how you determine what’s working well and what needs improvement.
This can take many different forms:
- Critique from a colleague
- Responses from an email campaign
- Results from a project
This requires you to do two things: seek feedback and listen.
To seek feedback, you need to ask for it.
After you present, ask your coworkers how you did. Where can you improve? Let them know that their honesty won’t insult you.
Ask customers if they are happy. If they aren’t, why aren’t they?
Once you receive feedback, pay attention. Listen carefully and don’t interrupt or explain yourself. Let them speak their mind.
Then, thank them for their honesty.
Use this information to improve yourself and your processes. People respect you for accepting your flaws and improving them maturely.
6. Being Proactive
Socially savvy people are self-starters.
They don’t wait for their manager to speak to them. They don’t hope their colleagues will include them.
But they do reach out to potential clients. They start conversations with strangers. And they invite colleagues to coffee.
The best interpersonal skills are the ones that are acted upon for two reasons:
First, you won’t get what you want if you don’t pursue it.
Second, you won’t improve your people skills if you don’t practice.
You must learn to take initiative if you want to level up your social skills.
7. Small Talk
Many people see small talk as irrelevant and pointless.
“What’s the point of talking to someone about things I don’t care about?”
But it’s more important than that. It’s about determining whether you like each other and want to discuss things further.
If they show genuine interest in your response, you can dive deeper into that topic. If not, they may not be very interested or they want to get on with their day.
As you can see, it’s important because it’s how deep and interesting conversations begin. You start small, open up a variety of new topics, then find which ones you both are willing to explore.
Without small talk, you never get to the heart of a good conversation.
If you want to learn how to keep a conversation going, you need to practice this art.
Start by being proactive and starting conversations. Ask them how their day is going, if they have any plans for the weekend or something based on the context of the situation.
Show genuine curiosity and interest. Relate with your own thoughts, opinions, stories, and deeper questions.
Once you master small talk, you can build relationships wherever you want.
8. Empathy
Empathy is your ability to understand or feel what another person is experiencing.
By understanding their struggles, difficulties, and pleasures you can better serve them. For example, if your boss is stressed, you can ask to take something off his plate.
If your colleague thinks your boss is mad at her, you may be able to step in, determine the facts and relay that there was miscommunication.
But you can only help people if you know how they are feeling.
Otherwise, you may not understand the importance of the situation because you don’t realize that strong emotions are at play.
To increase your ability to empathize, pay attention to people’s facial expressions and body language. Are they anxious or nervous? Are they confident?
Also, pay attention to the words they use and their tonality. The way a person says things will often tell you how they feel.
Lastly, ask them how they feel. You don’t have to rely on reading their body language. See what they say and let them know you are there to help.
Active listening skills go a long way.
People crave affection and inclusion, and since empathy provides both, it’s a great way to interact and build positive relationships.
9. Clear communication
Speaking and writing clearly help you get your message across. It leaves less room for miscommunication and misunderstanding.
So, when you talk, speak clearly. And when you write, be precise.
Just don’t be vague.
Share concrete details so people completely understand your point. Say what you need to say. And use brevity to avoid convoluting your message.
10. Display Trust and Reliability
People will not value you as a friend or colleague if they don’t trust you.
First, be trustworthy. When you give your word, keep it. When you say you’re going to do something, do it.
Second, be reliable.
Look people in the eyes when you speak to them. Show them that you are listening. Shake their hand when you greet them and say farewell. Respond when they send you a message.
If people feel like they can rely on you, they will see you as a valuable friend or asset.
Life Isn’t Meant to Be Done Alone
Humans are social creatures. We live our best lives not when we are dependent on others or independently productive, but when we are interdependent – when we work together.
Collaboration and teamwork are a staple of human existence. Businesses, communities, and families are major examples of this.
This is why your interpersonal skills are so important.
Everything from conflict management and negotiation to having fun and making friends requires you to interact and communicate effectively with others.
Remember, people affection, inclusion, and control in their life.
- Show people appreciation
- Thank them
- Invite them to lunch
- Ask for their opinion
- Be a good friend or helpful colleague
People remember the small details. Heed the advice above and you’ll quickly make great strides in your personal and professional life.